There’s this saying which states, “Everything you thought would break you, didn’t.” Another one states, “You’ve survived all of your worst days.” I am aware of how cliché they sound, but are they not true? I remember every rejection that made me doubt myself: a promotion I didn’t receive, a guy I liked who wasn’t meant for me, a pair of jeans I still couldn’t zip after weeks of a bland diet. My day would be ruined, and that failure would govern my attitude for days or months. My fear of rejection has kept me from seeking a lot of opportunities that were probably meant for me, but I, and I alone, talked myself out of it. The damage of those rejections were only temporary, but it took me far too long to realize that, to realize I was languishing in my pain.
In one of the few quiet moments I had this past weekend, I caught the end of an episode of “Iyanla: Fix My Life.” In this episode, a husband revealed to his wife that when he proposed twenty years prior, he was only joking. There were also tales of cheating, removal of his wedding ring, a heartbreaking letter—just a number of things that hurt me to imagine the damage it was doing to his wife’s psyche. Between my thoughts about this episode and conversations I had over the weekend with a few female friends about the men in their lives, I intended for this post to be about the damage men and their bullshit cause.