That Moment When… (Rated R)

There are a few moments in my life that bring me unadulterated, indescribable pleasure:

  • First sip of coffee in the morning
  • When I remove the torture device known as a bra
  • Spying a pair of shoes which turn out to be available in my size and 20% off
  • First taste of Cake Batter Ice Cream from Cold Stone Creamery

  • That first moment of penetration.



It’s difficult for me to write this right now as memories have me squirming in my seat. There is this shock that feels as if it reverberates in your soul. Your body arches as “she” opens for every inch.  But that first inch?  That moment that is all too brief but lengthy enough that you might join ISIS if he asked right then? That moment when you forget your name, SSN, your family legacy and he is the only thing existing in this world? That moment when you can taste the rainbow?

That’s when he crosses over from “this guy I know” to “Girl, that’s my baby!” That’s when he gets his very own ringtone. That’s when he has first dibs on all of your after-work activities. “Nix, you coming to Happy Hour?” “Hold up. Let me check with My Baby to see what we’re doing.”

I’m at my least feminist when he pushes inside. Take my vote away. I do not care. Just don’t move but keep pushing.  Ease up but go harder. Honestly, just get me pregnant. I don’t even care. Fuck a career.

It’s that gasp. It’s like your body simultaneously questions the audacity of this MF entering its sacred place and rejoices that this MF has finally arrived. Where you been, MF?


“I, Nix, take thee, Good D (<–READ), to be my wedded dick, to have and to feel, from this day forward, for better, for harder, for deeper, for faster, in erection then in penetration, to soak and to taste, till flacid do us part, according to Prince’s Do Me legacy; and thereto I pledge thee my vajayjay. This is my sexual vow.”

*fans self* Happy Friday, ladies. I hope your weekend includes such a moment.

Weekend Soundtrack: R Kelly – Marry The P


6 thoughts on “That Moment When… (Rated R)

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