No Matter Where I Go, I See The Same…

As we head into this holiday weekend, I think we should explore the possible origins and reasons why a certain epidemic is sweeping our nation. Its prevalence and unending permeation can no longer be ignored. Even I, at first, assumed my witnessing of such events was just anomalies. But what Summer 16 has proven to us is that this is not a mere aberration but the new normal. I, being the inquisitive academic I am, cannot just accept this way of life. I must understand what the fuck happened.

Why are hoes winning? 

In a time long, looong ago, a philosopher called Nate Dogg uttered the lyrics “Every other city we go, every other video, no matter where I go, I see the same hoe.” (*pounds chest* Rest in Peace, you brilliant individual.) Here we are, two decades later, hoes are just still…EVERYWHERE. Loitering by men at the bar to obtain free drinks. Ass shot after ass shot on social media. Twerking in the middle of the dance floor with their goodies on the edge of full disclosure.

I know only God can judge. But He’s not here right now so allow me to say “Youse a nasty hoe.”

This may be coming across bitter, a little acerbic. I don’t deny that fact. As a woman gets older, the degree of difficulty in remaining hopeful for the possibility of marriage increases. When you’ve put up 45-60 hours at your corporate job each week, when you read and try living your daily devotional each morning, when you embody all of the characteristics your grandparents told you good girls do, yet the man you’ve been considering is spending his Friday between the well-traveled thighs of some hoe…bitter becomes your new bedfellow.

Hoes are successful because they are allowed to be.  They are seeking attention by any means necessary, and men provide. Maybe there is something more appealing about hoes than the remainder of us. Maybe we should employ a few of their techniques. But I’m willing to postulate the main attraction of hoes is they require less work. A man with a demanding job just wants to end his day/week with a nut. If all he has to do is simply be to achieve that, he will choose the journey frequently traveled. In this instance, that would be the hoe. And for those of us who do have requirements, well…I’ll catch y’all at brunch Sunday.

Maybe these hoes are hyper-aware of their sexuality and are just owning it. As a feminist, I must support a woman living her life as she wants to live it. Do you, hoe. Throw dat ass in a circle. Share that P with him, his frat, his homeboys, and a cousin. Continue to allow your P to be the rotating door that it is. DO YOU, HOE. 

I raise my hand in support of women taking control of their sexual appetite, but I caution us not to confuse empowerment with a consolation prize.  We have convinced ourselves that there are few good men so if an opportunity arises where we can wrap our hands around a man’s wrist, we refuse to let go.  No matter how hard he indirectly, or directly, tries to shrug his off, we claw our nails in.  Grab his ankles if we have to. And because we are evidencing just how badly we want him, he keeps you on his roster. You are now accepting much less than you wanted and less than you deserve. Just to have the small percentage of him that you do have.

That’s how hoes win. When queens descend from their thrones to compete with them.

Dating is a competition. There is always someone willing to do what you will not. There is always a hoe on the sideline waiting for an opening. I work in real estate, and one of the biggest hurdles is a mixed-income development. This is when you reserve a percentage of units in a luxury building for low-income tenants. Though the building may have all the amenities required by upper class individuals, the building loses its value based simply on the perception that low income tenants could afford to live there. No one with means wants what everyone could have.

Apply that same logic to the men hoes attract. Instead of a racist, be a hoeist. If a hoe could have him, what is his true worth? And if his worth is depreciating, did the hoe really win?

Happy Labor Day!

Weekend’s Soundtrack: Tupac – All About You

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