To continue to do the same thing repeatedly expecting a different result is called insanity. You know what I call a woman who catches her man cheating, acts like a damn fool, crawls back in his bed, catches her man cheating again, acts like a damn fool again, crawls back in his bed again, rinse and repeat? Entertainment.
I bet you thought I was going to say “stupid.” Nah. I am not here to judge what you do. I know the pull of good D. But who is not momentarily amused by watching a dog chase his tail? I know he is not going to be successful. If he moves, so will his tail; it’s just not meant to be. Yet he’s so damn motivated to catch that blasted tail that maybe, just maybe, his desire and ambition will win out. So we watch and wait to see if he will recognize the futility of his actions. Or maybe he will suprise us and snare his teasing appendage.
Did you catch that? Let me translate. Your man is a hoe. Hoeing is his habit. He wakes up and he hoes. He smokes, he drinks, he hoes. His cell is the iPhone Hoe 8. His D is the free breadsticks at Hoelive Garden. But you want that hoe. You love that hoe. You and this hoe been through so much together. No one else is going to hold this hoe down like you. Your love has hoe-changing powers. Hoe-volution is found in your vajayjay. Your commitment to the de-hoeing of your man (and I’m using “your” as loosely as he uses you) is enthralling. It may look as if I’m gossiping, but really, I’m cheering you on. I’ve never witnessed a myth being proven true. I always thought changing a hoe into a husband was an urban legend. Will Bloody Mary appear if her name is said three times in the mirror? Will your man keep his dick at home if you bust his windows for the third time? Will he realize how great a woman you are with your umpteenth quote on IG?
Who knows? But I’ll be tuned in at 11.
Sincerely though, if nothing he does will get you to leave his ass, I need you to be still. Let the man lie and cheat in peace. Actually, he will probably stop lying if you stop tripping. Embrace that other woman (womans). He might give you his passcode if you help to coordinate the nights he’s with you and who’s he with the other nights. Think about it. When that powerful vajayjay starts burning, you’ll already know who the suspects are. You can invite her to the clinic with you because since you’re willing to share D with each other, you might as well embrace the sister-wives element of your situation. You can make that week of antibiotics a family adventure!
Does that sound stupid as hell? Good. Because you are. People are who they are. He is exactly who he is showing you. Accept who he is or move on. Stop embarrassing yourself on social media. Stop embarrassing yourself in public. You are not showing that you are down for him. You are showing how down for yourself YOU ARE NOT.
Eight years ago, America elected its first black President. Six years ago, America received a Supreme Court with three women justices. Two days ago, America reminded those of us who chose to only see the good that it remains as racist and sexist as it ever was. We saw the good as progress and have been reminded in a way more hurtful than we could have ever imagined.
Sweetheart, that is the type of hurt you keep signing up for when you focus on the pillow talk instead of what he does when he is not in your bedroom. You know exactly who the man is. You know exactly what he is capable of because you’re living it. See it. See him. Better yes, see yourself.
I’m not sure what causes a dog to chase its tail. Maybe they don’t realize it is always attached to its body and they see it suddenly. Maybe it’s actually trying to reach the pain in its ass. Maybe it’s just having fun. Regardless, it is a compulsive disorder which needs to be treated.
So do you.
But if you are not going to stop trying to de-hoe that man, leave him be. But keep me updated! I’m invested now, hell.
Tag me next time, too. I’ll be here with my drink.
Today’s Soundtrack: Dave Hollister – Let Him