How can life feel so good but so bad at the same time? How can life take you so high only to snatch you so low? How can I be so damn smart but so damn dumb?
I don’t have it in me to be funny or even clever this morning. This hurt mandates writing with 100% honesty, and even as I’m writing, I’m not sure I’ll post it. Not because I’m afraid of being judged, but because people love to take your lowest point and extrapolate that to define you as a person. To individualize you as your mistakes. To create an entire story about your life from social media posts and rumors from those supposedly loyal to you, instead of calling you and listening to your words. It’s not fear of someone knowing my errors; it’s knowing they will CHOOSE to never see you as more.
You ever want to scream “Hear Me!,” “Be There For Me!,” “Know That I Cry When I’m Alone Just Like You Do?”
I know my life looks like I have it all, that I got my shit together. Trust that I fought and studied and failed and struggled and failed again to claw myself to get here. So I will not diminish myself and say my life is not as great as it seems. My life is good. God has me. This is all His doing with my faith and perseverance.