“Baby…would you mind touching me…ever so slowly…You’re making me quiver”
I think every woman remembers the exact moment she heard “Would You Mind” by Janet Jackson. I was a sophomore in college sitting in my dorm room when my roommate played it. Our jaws both dropped, and we jammed that track on repeat until we knew every lyric. Because that song was as sex as sex gets. And it was about a woman’s pleasure. What will get her juices flowing, how dirty she wants to get, what she wants to do to him, and what she wants him to do to her. I think I’ve been remembering my sex life all wrong. I’m pretty sure Miss Janet gave me my first orgasm.
I’m amused when men think they have a monotony on nastiness. Talk all that shit you want about unloading in her face, having two or three at a time, eating ass, etc. Ha. That’s cute. You may have a little nastiness in you, but women?
(It would be nice if what follows were the only instances when a man harmed me in my lifetime. They are not. It would be courageous if I could say I’m posting this without reservation or fear. I am not. It would be encouraging if this post ended optimistically. It does not. The truth should be spoken regardless if your voice shakes. So here’s mine.)
There is a line from one of my favorite books, The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho that reads, “I love you because the entire universe conspired to help me find you.” This book renews my spirit whenever I read it again for the umpteenth time, but that line is one I carry with me everyday. Because you see, I love me. I LOVE ME. But I haven’t always and I don’t always, but the universe perpetually helps me to rediscover, when needed, that I fell in love with me a long time ago.
We live in a world where people need to know everything about you so they can label and file you. Stupid, pretty, shallow, a bitch, a hoe, etc. One bad decision will come to define your entire life. A bad first impression will forever color someone’s perception of you. Rumors will have people believing they are an expert on you when they have never met you.
This world will only uplift you if they believe you are not uplifting yourself. The next time a man compliments you, say “I know” instead of “Really? Thank you!” and watch his response. When your girls are together and they’re all saying what they don’t like about themselves so another can reassure them of their beauty, don’t participate. Instead mention how happy you are with yourself, your looks, your career, your man, and see how your friends respond. I’m consistently not surprised by how someone can have 2k followers on social media and receive only 500 or so likes, 500 followers – 100 likes, 100 followers – 15 likes. People want to know your life, not to support you, but to judge you. To discover a negative attribute to bring you down to their level. This world only wants you confident when they approve you to be.