Why Bae’s Wife Always Tripping?

Why are people so damn stingy? I keep trying to schedule time with Bae, but his boss has him working these crazy long hours. Limiting my time with him and shit. I mean I appreciate the money his job brings into my household, but damn, I need that D. And if it ain’t his job taking up his time, it’s his fucking wife.

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Girl, if you don’t let my man leave that house! He ain’t trying to have family game night with you, girl! He trying to bury himself inside me. And you know this. I know you know I exist. I know you’ve stalked my social media. Probably got one of your friends following my posts so she can keep you updated where I check in at, if he likes my pictures, if my memes have subliminal meanings. Ha! Girl stop. Why hurt yourself? My man is still coming to see me. Let ignorance be your bliss, hon.

I mean really? What you gon’ do? Inbox me? Ask me if I know he’s married?

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Bih, does he?! Your marriage ain’t my responsibility! I didn’t stand at that altar with you two! My name ain’t on the certificate. If I am liable for your marriage, then add my name to the life insurance policy. Otherwise, get the fuck out of my face with this sisterhood/girl code shit. I don’t know you. And your children? Also, not my problem. Y’all don’t exist in my world until he can’t come out to play when I want him to do so.

Don’t ever come to me as a woman unless you coming to thank me for sending him back to you in a good mood. I don’t owe you shit. Your crying or your anger will not move me. What goes on in your household is between you two. Y’all just going through a rough time, right now? Okay…🤷🏾‍♀️IDGAF. I don’t ask about you. Don’t care if your kids had a great day at school. You think I want your life? I don’t want your lying, cheating whore of a man. I just want my turn with him. I’m only after what he does for me. You don’t have to leave him, honey. He’s yours…except when he’s mine.

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You and I both know you’re not doing what I do for him. Don’t make me go into detail. He’s not here because I’m easy, because I have no self-respect, because my daddy wasn’t in my life growing up, etc. None of those reasons you wives console yourselves with are absolutes for every woman on the side. I’m not lonely. I have options. When you make him stay home, I move to the next one in my phone. Your husband put in work to become my man, darling. And he has to work harder to keep me. So stop halting progress! He gon’ be pissed at you if you make me break up with him. Wouldn’t you rather have him happy when he does come home? Why are you shooting yourself in the foot?

You’re not leaving him. I’m not trying to get him to leave you. So will you let my man cheat in peace please? Damn!

Stop being stingy!

Weekend Soundtrack: Lil’ Kim – She Don’t Love You

(Post inspired by that dumb ass meme above. This is satire. Don’t get triggered by jokes.)

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