How I Failed To Hoe

Short Story Time!

Y’all, I tried to give my sex away last weekend.

One night stand. An old jumpoff. Your daddy. Whoever. Somebody 👏🏾 was 👏🏾going 👏🏾 to 👏🏾get👏🏾 this.

Normally, I’m not a casual sex girl. And this isn’t because of some moral high ground. It’s because my yoni just does not blink an eye for 99% of the men I meet. She is just not easily or frequently impressed.

I’ve accepted that this as my lot in my life. However, me and the Mister have been on rocky ground for the past month (i.e. I pissed him off), and I needed release. She needed some strokes.

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“I’ll Show You Crazy”

“Why you always gotta act crazy?”

“My last ex was whoo! That bih was crazy!”

“They say crazy chicks have the best p***y, but y’all asses be tripping!”

I hope my readers could visualize my eyeroll as I typed that BS. It’s been my intent to address this topic for a while, but I’ve had a terrible case of writer’s block. I’ve been dealing with some things professionally, financially, nigga-ly. My ass has been walking around with hearts for eyes and under a dick spell, and my motivation to write has been missing. I’m feeling at my mightiest today, though. My “Don’t Give A Fuck” has finally stopped malfunctioning.

Crazy. Motherfuckers love throwing that word around. Anytime a woman reacts to their BS, they want to label you as such. If you’re going to call me crazy when I curse you out and block you, I might as well set your house on fire, too.

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Women, Help Us Help You

(Today’s post comes from our new male voice on the site, Mitch! If you follow our FB page, then you have previously been introduced to his perspective. Regardless, you are in for a treat.)

This morning, I’ve been thinking about my life and all of the people who have helped me become a half way decent adult and 90% of those people are women. My wife, of course, but also my mom, aunts, friends, teachers, neighbors, church members, etc. With that in mind, I started to focus on how much influence women really have on men. I’m going to generalize a bit, but I’m willing to bet most men agree with me (even if they won’t admit it).

I was watching an old interview with President Obama and former First Lady Michelle Obama a couple of nights ago, and a reporter asked her about an old boyfriend and what would she be doing if she wasn’t FLOTUS. Without missing a beat, she replied, “I would still be First Lady because he would have been President.” If that doesn’t tell you how much power and influence women have, nothing will.

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