(This is more of a personal update than a post.)

So…some things have changed for me over the past few weeks. As my favorite auntie in my mind declared earlier this year, I had to reclaim my time.

tenor (2)

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(It would be nice if what follows were the only instances when a man harmed me in my lifetime. They are not. It would be courageous if I could say I’m posting this without reservation or fear. I am not. It would be encouraging if this post ended optimistically. It does not. The truth should be spoken regardless if your voice shakes. So here’s mine.)

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I Fell In Love Long Ago

There is a line from one of my favorite books, The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho that reads, “I love you because the entire universe conspired to help me find you.” This book renews my spirit whenever I read it again for the umpteenth time, but that line is one I carry with me everyday. Because you see, I love me. I LOVE ME. But I haven’t always and I don’t always, but the universe perpetually helps me to rediscover, when needed, that I fell in love with me a long time ago.

We live in a world where people need to know everything about you so they can label and file you. Stupid, pretty, shallow, a bitch, a hoe, etc. One bad decision will come to define your entire life. A bad first impression will forever color someone’s perception of you. Rumors will have people believing they are an expert on you when they have never met you.

This world will only uplift you if they believe you are not uplifting yourself. The next time a man compliments you, say “I know” instead of “Really? Thank you!” and watch his response. When your girls are together and they’re all saying what they don’t like about themselves so another can reassure them of their beauty, don’t participate. Instead mention how happy you are with yourself, your looks, your career, your man, and see how your friends respond. I’m consistently not surprised by how someone can have 2k followers on social media and receive only 500 or so likes, 500 followers – 100 likes, 100 followers – 15 likes. People want to know your life, not to support you, but to judge you. To discover a negative attribute to bring you down to their level. This world only wants you confident when they approve you to be.

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