What Ain’t Your Business Is Me.

One of the best lessons life has taught me is that those who aren’t happy with themselves cannot be happy for you. How can they share in someone else’s joy when misery is deteriorating their insides? And unfortunately, people today choose not to acknowledge and address their inner pain but to project their insecurities onto someone else. This is the virality of social media. The last man played her so she may like you and your boo’s pics, but she will also screenshot them to her group chat to talk shit. She might even jump in your man’s inbox for the sole purpose of proving things aren’t as rosy as you’re making them seem. Or maybe someone lost weight and is showing off their new figure for the gram? Whereas her pants wouldn’t come past her thighs this morning. That photo won’t be getting a like. Misery wants you miserable on that uncomfortable bench right next to them.

My mama used to say, and still does, “What goes on behind this front door stays behind this front door.” There could be all the arguments and disagreements and fuck-ups possible occurring inside of our home, but when you walked out of that front door, none of that left with you. “Any of them MFs out there paying bills in here?” Then why the hell do they deserve to know what’s going on in my house?”

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They Should Fear You

“You are fine/You’re filthy cute/ and baby, you know it”

Prince once claimed he wrote those lyrics (from the song ‘Cream’) while looking in the mirror, and I think that is beautifully narcissistic. Some may call it vanity; I’m going to call it convinced. It’s the perfect embodiment of self-love. More than that, it’s a case of self-awareness–knowing you are the shit and being unafraid to proclaim that.

Last week, when I stated that I was the entire table, did you roll your eyes? Did your mind automatically start listing things to detract from me? Did you allow your insecurity to manifest as jealousy?

Then you missed my point. Do you not understand the magic you are? Are you not aware of the power coursing throughout your body every day, even in your lowest moments? Can you not see the magnificence in your reflection? Well, let me tell you this…

Darling, you are a marvel.

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Self-Possession.

Life is funny. Anything or anyone that I thought I’d lost never failed to come back to me. Be it professionally or personally, my losses consistently manage to manifest back at my doorstep. The greatest thing is that by the time it returns, I’m in such a better place in my life to where I don’t even open the door. The Word says God’s strength will be made perfect in my weakness. I apply the same sentiment to myself – I will be made better in its absence. And those things that have not returned? 🤷🏿‍♀️ Time’s still ticking.

In case it is not clear, I think I’m the shit. I think anyone or anything would be a dumb ass to lose me as an employee, as a significant other, as a friend, as a professional. Now maybe some of you might think I’m not the right hue to be so confident, my body doesn’t have the right measurements to be so immovable, or my accouterments don’t have the right brand logo to be so high maintenance. *shakes head* Your thoughts are only reflective of how you view yourself; it ain’t got shit to do with me.

You see, I fucking despise weakness. And I don’t mean like failure. Failure isn’t weakness. You tried, it didn’t work, so try it again. You had the courage to try; that isn’t weak. You had to rebuild yourself after a fuck-up. That’s not weakness, either. Everyone fucks up, but not everyone has the wherewithal to rebound. You do. Weakness is excuse after excuse after excuse. Weakness is letting someone else dictate your life. Weakness is talking loud and fronting in front of others then crying yourself to sleep at night. Weakness is…

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…most of these men out here today and the dumb ass women who allow it.

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